Secret Admirer
by Laugh After Pain
Summary: Kaoru finds a written confession of love in his bag - but who could have sent it? TamaKao


It was a Tuesday morning when Kaoru first noticed something odd.

First period that day was math. Kaoru always kept his calculator and pencils in the side pouch of his messenger bag, so when the teacher announced, to many groans, that the students should clear off their desks and get out their materials for a pop quiz, he wordlessly dropped his hand into the side pouch. The first thing his long fingers brushed against was a piece of folded-up paper. Kaoru frowned; he never shoved papers so haphazardly into his bag, and certainly not into his pencil pouch. Curiously, he drew out the piece of paper in addition to his necessary writing instrument.

It was just a regular piece of printer paper, folded over and over again. Kaoru unfolded it, allowing his intrigue to get the better of him. When he finished doing so, he saw that there was a typed note, and he frowned, not recalling it. Blowing some air out of the side of his mouth, he read it.

_Would you rather regret doing something or not doing something? I read a question like that somewhere, and it really got me to thinking. I think I'd rather do something I'd regret than live my life wondering what would have happened if I'd dared to do it. I mean, I could die tomorrow. Who knows? I'm walking down the street, a truck comes flying around the corner, and bam! I'm a pancake. Which is why I can't put it off another day._

I love you, Kaoru.

Kaoru froze as his eyes took in these words. He _knew_ he didn't recognize this note; someone must have put it into his bag. It wasn't signed, and, as it was typed, there was no handwriting to identify. It was just a simple, typed note. Normally, the younger Hitachiin twin might have noted the stupidity of confessing love to someone because of the unpredictable nature of life...and then not signing the confession. The letter had taken him too much by surprise, however, and the thought did not occur to him.

_Who wrote this?_ he wondered. It had to be someone who knew him, obviously, but someone who knew him well. Who would know Kaoru kept his pencils in that pouch, that he had math first period, that he would find the note?

The teacher walked by, and Kaoru shoved the note into his pocket. 

By last period on Tuesday, Kaoru nearly forgot the note altogether. He had decided not to make a big deal of it during class (that could only lead to unnecessary drama), but as he reviewed in his head the homework he had that night, he remembered math class and grew antsy to get home and discuss the note with Hikaru. Thankfully, they didn't have a Host Club meeting that day, so the twins were free to go home.

That was when the second odd thing happened.

Kaoru opened his locker to retrieve his books, and a CD jewel case fell out. The younger twin looked at it blankly for a minute before picking it up and turning it over. The jewel case was bright orange, but see-through, and the younger twin could read the word "Kaoru" written across the front of the CD in bold, permanent marker. The disc had music notes etched into it, so he assumed it contained songs, but he continued to look at it, baffled.

It seemed his secret admirer had struck again.

Now, more than ever, Kaoru wanted to talk to his older brother, and he slammed his locker and jogged to the front entrance of the school where the two would get into their limo and head home. When he reached the exit, though, Hikaru was standing there with Haruhi.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru called out, grinning.

"Oh, Kaoru!" Haruhi waved, smiling. Kaoru returned the wave then glanced at Hikaru. The older Hitachiin wasted no time in explaining.

"I'm going to escort Haruhi home," he said. Kaoru's heart sank a bit at not being able to talk to Hikaru right away, but he disguised it well with a teasing wink. Hikaru fidgeted, averting his eyes.

"You really don't have to bother," Haruhi said, looking to Kaoru to back her up.

"I'll be fine on my own," Kaoru replied with a laugh. "I really want to get a jump start on that math assignment...but I'll see you at home." Here, he nodded to Hikaru, who thanked him with his eyes. Haruhi seemed surprised at Kaoru's airy nature, but sighed in defeat, knowing that the Hitachiins were incorrigible when they teamed up.

"Fine, fine," she muttered, and Hikaru eagerly escorted her off the campus.

Once they were gone, Kaoru sighed and readjusted his messenger bag, slung over one shoulder. Oh, well. He'd have to talk to Hikaru later.

"Oh, Kaoru, you're still here?" a familiar voice asked. The younger Hitachiin turned to see Tamaki Suoh, an upperclassman, friend, and president of the Host Club, walking up behind him. Ever since Hikaru dyed his hair, the twins were easily distinguished. Kaoru gave Tamaki a small smile.

"Just leaving," he replied. Tamaki stopped when he reached the underclassman and evaluated him thoughtfully.

"Is something up?" he asked. Kaoru tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"Up?"

"Yeah. You look like you have something on your mind," Tamaki said. This surprised Kaoru a bit, though he knew Tamaki to be an unexpectedly perceptive person. Kaoru considered telling Tamaki what was going on. After all, the blond was an expert on all things romantic, so he could be a good source of advice.

"I found a note in my backpack today," Kaoru said, shrugging his messenger bag off of his shoulder and letting it drop to the ground. "A secret admirer, I think." Tamaki's face split into a grin.

"Oh, cool. Congratulations!"

"It's a weird letter," Kaoru continued, and Tamaki's face contorted.

"H-How so?" he asked.

"Well, it talks about...what's better - doing something and regretting it, or not doing something and regretting it. Then there's a...confession." Here, Kaoru couldn't help the blush that rose to his face. Tamaki's face remained understanding, though, so he felt a bit more comfortable. "It isn't signed, or anything, though. And it was typed, so I don't even have handwriting to go by."

"Classic secret admirer," Tamaki beamed as if he knew something Kaoru didn't. The redhead didn't know if he should be comforted by the fact that Tamaki knew what he was talking about or annoyed by the fact that Tamaki seemed to know Kaoru didn't know what he was talking about.

"Then I found this in my locker," Kaoru added, pulling out the jewel case. Tamaki evaluated it with some interest.

"It says 'Kaoru'," he observed.

"That it does," Kaoru replied dryly, and Tamaki laughed.

"Sorry. Blond moment," he grinned, running a hand through his golden locks. Kaoru failed to hide the upward twitch of his lips. "Anyway...this looks like a music CD. You should listen to it." With a laugh, Tamaki added, "Maybe you'll get a clue as to who sent it."

It was good advice. "That's probably a good idea. I'll do that."

Tamaki thoughtfully rolled his wrist back and forth, waving the jewel case. "It's pretty cool that you have a secret admirer. This person must really like you," he said. "I think that's great."

"Yeah, I guess it is," Kaoru agreed, taking back the jewel case. "I'm just not used to this kind of thing."

"Really? You seem like the type who'd have a lot of secret admirers," Tamaki shrugged. "Or, at least, the type of person who'd deserve them." Kaoru forced down the heat he felt rising to his cheeks. Tamaki did _not_ just say that.

"I should go," Kaoru indicated his limo pulling up. Tamaki nodded and smiled.

"Keep me posted on this, will you?" he asked. Kaoru nodded and turned to leave. 

The CD was good. Really good.

Some of the songs, Kaoru had heard of. Others, he didn't know. When he popped the disc into his computer, the music program identified all the songs that had been burned onto it. He listened to the whole thing in one sitting, doing some of his math homework in the progress. The CD had a nice flow to it, going from slow and soft to upbeat and fun. Each track seemed to have a common theme, too - true love. The thought made Kaoru blush, and he tried to push it out of his mind.

The last track had just finished when Hikaru came into their shared bedroom. Kaoru looked at him expectantly.

"You know, by train," Hikaru griped, "Haruhi lives on the other side of the planet. I should've offered her a ride by car."

Kaoru grinned with amusement. Hikaru's averted eyes and heavy blush gave him away. Still, it would be mean to point this out, so the younger twin didn't say anything.

Grumbling still, Hikaru followed Kaoru's lead and pulled out his math homework. Kaoru glanced at his laptop screen briefly, looking at the latest imported tracks from his mystery CD. Looking back at Hikaru quickly, the younger twin closed his music program before returning to his homework. 

"So, you liked the CD?" Tamaki asked, leaning forward interestedly as Kaoru recounted what he'd done after leaving Ouran.

"Yeah, I really did," Kaoru admitted. The two were sitting together in the foyer of the school's main building, catching up before homeroom started. "I was surprised...some songs I knew, others I didn't, but they were all my taste in music."

"Admirer knows you well," Tamaki said. Kaoru smiled a little.

"You were right, yesterday. It _is_ kind of nice to have someone like you, you know?" Kaoru said. "I feel kind of special."

"What, you don't feel special all the time?" Tamaki asked lightly, though his eyes showed genuine concern.

"Well, people have said they liked me before, but then they couldn't tell me apart from Hikaru," Kaoru answered pointedly. "One of the nice things about showing people how we're different is that people who like me...like me for reasons they wouldn't necessarily like Hikaru." Tamaki smiled.

"We should get to homeroom," he said, and Kaoru agreed, standing up. 

When Kaoru opened his English notebook, a cascade of small notes, all typed on different colored printer paper, spilled out onto his desk. Quickly, before he attracted too much attention, he scrambled to collect them all into a pile and shove them back into his notebook. Haruhi and Hikaru, sitting on either side of him, looked at him blankly.

"Wh-What?" he asked sharply, and the two decided it was best not to ask. They turned to face forward as the professor spoke.

When his twin and Haruhi were distracted, Kaoru dared to open his notebook, peeking at the notes. They were all the same thing, on different colored paper - Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee." Kaoru blushed at the poem choice, a famously romantic piece. It was also his favorite poem, one that had always struck him as beautiful and meaningful.

How had this person known his favorite love poem?

Kaoru quickly hid the poems as the class began. 

As he'd promised, Kaoru kept Tamaki updated. He told the upperclassman how his notebook had been full of notes containing the same poem, but held back the fact that it was his favorite poem. The blond seemed elated with this.

"Did you like that?" Tamaki asked.

"Well...yeah, it was kind of a nice surprise," he admitted. It was true; being offered such beautiful, heartfelt poetry was both romantic and endearing, and the biggest surprise of all was such a choice in piece. Granted, it was a famous love poem, so it could have been a stab in the dark, but, regardless, Kaoru had liked it very much.

"What do you think your admirer'll send next?" Tamaki asked as they came to the point in the hall where they'd part ways.

"I hope it's a name," Kaoru replied. 

It was Tuesday morning of the following week. Kaoru was immediately reminded of his first surprise, that fateful note in his messenger bag. Every morning, he'd found new surprises waiting for him. Mostly, he got song lyrics or poems placed carefully in his bag or locker. Once, he'd put his hand into his jacket pocket only to find a folded-up piece of paper, on which the words "Hey, Kaoru!" were typed next to a drawn smiley face.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Kaoru loved it. Every day, he came to school waiting to see what this mystery person had planned for him. When he opened his locker that morning, another typed paper fell into his expectant hands. He smiled and read it.

_Dear Kaoru,_

I hope you've liked all the little things I've sent you. I wanted you to have things that were special and meaningful, not just expensive or showy. You're not that type of person. If I could, I'd give you a room filled with roses. But I won't do that today. Today is just a letter from me. No one else wrote this, and I didn't track down another famous poem or love song. I thought maybe you'd like to hear what's in my heart instead.

Kaoru's amber eyes scrolled slowly down the typed page, reading an original poem his admirer had written. Each word was placed so purposefully, and every line rang with adoration. Kaoru could hardly believe that he was the subject of such a beautifully romantic poem. When he'd finished reading it, he read it again.

It was, by far, his favorite present. 

Kaoru couldn't control his blush as Tamaki read the letter. The blond's eyes were soft as he looked over the poem particularly, and, when he'd finished, he smiled up at Kaoru.

"It's really beautiful," he said.

"It is," Kaoru said, still unable to erase his smile. "This is the best thing he's left for me."

"'He'?" Tamaki asked, his expression difficult to read. "How do you know it's a guy?"

"...Just a wild guess, actually," Kaoru answered, startled. As far as his friends knew, Kaoru was at the most bi, but the younger Hitachiin was actually willing to admit to himself that he wasn't really attracted to girls. When he'd read the heartfelt poem, he'd imagined some wonderfully romantic guy writing it. Granted, he wasn't about to come out and admit this just yet. Luckily, Tamaki seemed to accept his answer, and relaxed. Kaoru raised his eyebrows.

"I think it's an amazing poem. This guy's finally showing how he really feels," Tamaki conceded. Kaoru looked down at the letter.

"I want to meet him," he said suddenly. Tamaki seemed startled.

"What?"

"I know, I know, it's only been a week, and I know virtually nothing about him," Kaoru laughed, holding his hands up defensively. "But...this poem is so..." His voice trailed off purposefully. Tamaki smiled. "I want to meet him," Kaoru repeated.

"I'm sure you will, soon enough," Tamaki replied. 

It was Thursday.

It had been Kaoru's turn to clean up the third music room that day, the Host Club having just wrapped up its meeting. Hikaru was again escorting Haruhi home, cleverly avoiding using the car because Kaoru "needed it to get home," and the other hosts had long since left. As the redhead exited, he couldn't help feeling a bit put-out. Since the letter, he'd heard nothing from his admirer. Customers had noticed that he was in a bad mood, but no one dared to ask about it. Even when the other hosts inquired about what to do, Tamaki waved them off and instructed them to leave him alone.

As Kaoru exited the third music room, something caught his eye. Taped to the banister across the hall from the door was a giant, bright yellow envelope that said 'Kaoru' across the front in very bold letters.

Barely able to restrain himself, Kaoru grabbed the envelope and all but ripped it open. Inside was an orange postcard. On the back was written a message.

_Turn to your right._

Kaoru blinked at the odd message, but did as he was told and turned to the right. At the end of the hall, taped to a door, was a bright green envelope, 'Kaoru' again scrawled across it. He bolted down the hall and opened that one as well.

_Would you rather do something and regret it, or regret not doing something?_

There was a big, red arrow pointing to the left. Kaoru followed it and found a bright blue envelope taped to the banister at the top of the staircase. Instead of his name, a bold, black arrow was drawn pointing down. Kaoru grabbed the envelope and hurried down the stairs. When he reached the bottom, a bright purple envelope was waiting for him.

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._

There was a picture at the bottom of the note. It was a stack of books, poorly drawn, but Kaoru didn't care about the art level. He headed for the library, growing more and more anxious.

On the library doors was taped one last envelope, a plain white one, 'Kaoru' printed across the front of it. Kaoru stopped. This was it. He knew it. With shaking hands, he took the envelope off the door and opened it. Another post card was inside.

_Open the door._

Taking a deep breath, Kaoru took all the envelopes and put them in his messenger bag, then pushed it aside. Reaching out, he grabbed the library door handles with both hands. He pushed the doors open.

He forgot how to breathe.

The entire library was filled with white roses.

Every bookshelf, every table, even the librarian's desk - vases upon vases of beautiful white roses. Kaoru's hands were shaking, and he couldn't stop staring.

"Who...did this?" he breathed.

"Turn around."

Kaoru froze. He knew that voice. It...

...It couldn't be.

It _couldn't_ be.

He turned around and forgot how to breathe all over again.

Tamaki stood in the doorway, a single white rose in his hand, a smile on his face. "How do I love thee?" he asked softly. "Let me count the ways."

"I knew it was you!" Kaoru shrieked, running into Tamaki's open arms. It wasn't entirely true, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter one bit.


End file.
